We're past the two-month point here, as I've previously pointed out. Not a lifetime, not a milestone in any way, but on this particular Monday in early June, I'm itching for something to happen. Not that I expected to have a job by now, but everything is wearing on me a bit today. I'm feeling more worry and doubt than I've felt in a long time.
Maybe it will pass — maybe today, maybe later this week, whenever. Who knows. But for right now, it's a motivator. The fire under my ass. The call to arms. The drill sergeant inside me spitting commands. Make. Something. Happen. Loser.
What will I make, exactly? Work? Money? A nice sandwich? We'll see. But I'm ready to see what I'm made of. See if my resolve is as strong as I think it is, or if I'll eventually call my own bluff. We're not in do-or-die mode quite yet, but the creeping feeling of desperation is difficult to ignore. Here we go. Deep breath. It's on.