Thoughts? Feelings? Reflections? Uh ... Depends on the day, I guess. Strikes and gutters, ups and downs, mostly determined by the chemical swirl of my brainhole. Too bad Sinatra never cut a song about this. Then I'd be able to express my feelings with someone else's art, as I'm wont to do.
I have my days of frustration, worry and doubt, but overall, there's a strong sense of hope and encouragement. But I went into this with realistic expectations, and I definitely did not expect to be fully employed by early June. We're still in "figuring shit out" mode here.
My efforts to make work for myself have been rewarded. I'm still far away from a full-time "job," but if all goes as planned, in six months I'll be a small business owner and my own boss.
But there's work to do to make that happen. And I must continue dancing the unemployment dance each week, looking for full-time work that isn't there to keep the checks rolling in. And I must continue documenting my experience and attempting to help others, because if I didn't, I'd be letting myself down.
Somehow, some way, it's going to get me somewhere. I'm too stubborn not to get there. Far out, man.